Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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