I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
