WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
