I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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