o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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