is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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