My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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