I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
