We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
