i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
