Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on

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(732): View more from New Jersey

FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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(214): View more from Texas

just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.

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(850): View more from Florida

I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!

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(613): View more from Ontario

Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1

(705): View more from Ontario

Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?

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