I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
