the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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