DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
