this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
