you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
