So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
