so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
