I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
where are my eyebrows?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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