I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
