If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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