Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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