I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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