Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The air was thick with penises
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize