Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
