what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize