We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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