Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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