3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
