A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize