So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
