so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
