Your dad touched me again.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
