is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So much rum. So many feels.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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