love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
