That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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