you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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