Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize