I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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