As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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