Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
