you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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