I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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