I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
