i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
