i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
