that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
