Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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