It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
