i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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