They should really pass out barf bags in church
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize