See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
