i just wanna soil my oats bro
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize