Porn is love you can see.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
