Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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