Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
