I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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