it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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