**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
