She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
