I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
