Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
