Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
