We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
