9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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