i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
