I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I AM VODKA MAN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
