You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
