Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
