Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
