quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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