She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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