It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
